By Lalenja Harrington
My 21 year old son, Justin has been and continues to be one of my biggest teachers in life. We do not always see eye to eye…as I write this, I wonder about that saying — is it implying that we have to literally see things from the same place to agree? Is this really a goal that I want to achieve in the first place? We certainly run into issues that are common to many parent/child relationships. (Why is it so hard to remember to pick up your clothes from behind the bathroom door?! I mean for real, I lose my mind about this ish on a regular basis.) But outside of these natural tensions, I simply have a great respect for this beautiful and challenging human being who makes me rethink my parenting, my assumptions about life, and my vision of the future.
My son is an actor and an activist in every sense of those words, and he is so very confident in what he has to say about the world. So when I found myself at the Mandala Center’s Theatre of the Oppressed (TO) Facilitator training last summer, being greatly moved by the courage and wisdom of the young folk in the room, I thought Wow, it would be amazing to share this with my son! I came home from that training on fire, with all of these ideas about how I wanted to incorporate TO into my academic and community work. And one of my first conversations was with Justin. I tried to describe my experience and why I thought he would love it, only to be met with skepticism and luke-warm interest. No matter how I tried to communicate the reasons that I thought that he would connect to the work, he wasn’t feelin’ it. Having been in many creative spaces where “good intentioned white folk” come into conflict with his unapologetic perspective as a young black man in this country, he has become somewhat jaded about this type of work. Understandable. So I eased up off of the gas, out of respect for his journey and just kept doing my own thing.
This has involved incorporating TO into my college course using devised theatre as a research method this fall, training with self-advocates in the disability community, a teaching artist residency with high school students, and planning for a youth theatre performance in the spring that will use Forum Theatre as its format. A few weeks ago, I facilitated our callbacks for that performance as a two-hour TO workshop. My son, who was planning to attend callbacks simply because he was interested in an acting gig, was not aware of how I would be leading the session. As we worked, I watched him “get” what I was inviting folks to do, and he proceeded to light that room on fire. Because I could feel his engagement with the purpose of TO, and because I trust his instincts, I found myself looking to him as a volunteer to help model exercises. In our closing circle, all of the auditionees mentioned that they walked in with no knowledge of TO and were walking out with a respect and excitement about doing this work with youth that they hadn’t expected to find.
As the facilitator, I knew that a large part of that experience was enriched by Justin’s presence and participation. So when we got in the car to leave, and Justin looked at me and said, “Mom, we have do this! We have to do this TO thing together in the community”- I was thrilled. He went on to tell me that he wants to work with marginalized teens and that, with my passion for inclusion and his willingness to say all of the things that I couldn’t and reach young folk in a way that I can’t, we would make a great team, offering a balanced approach. And he is right. Although I feel passionately about working with young folk, I am very aware of my body suit — something that I struggled to keep critically in mind with my high school residency. So this partnership is exciting to me — this sharing of meaningful, impactful work with young folk whose voices are so critical.
I have to wonder about what his thoughts would have been if his first TO experience had been at the TO training. Would he have receded into that jaded, disconnected place that he finds himself going to when he has to engage in white-led spaces? Did my lived experience as a black woman whom he trusts create a space of possibility for him? Did that open the door for him to be able to see the potential of the work when facilitated by those who share experience living at the margins? Representation matters. And that, as well as my experiences this fall, motivates me to get out there and commit to doing the work in community — to see other young folk like Justin catch fire. We are in desperate need of that heat these days.
Justin has agreed to attend the T.O. Facilitator training next summer. And I can’t wait. I hope he brings the matches.
Lalenja Harrington is Director of Academic Program Development and Evaluation for Integrative Community Studies at UNCG and a TO practitioner in Greensboro, North Carolina. She is also a participant in the Mandala Center’s “Distance Mentorship for TO Practitioners.” l_harrin@uncg.edu